Say Yes to Less Stress

Lady, listen to me – there are THOUSANDS of wedding dresses out there you could potentially wear. Do you really think that only ONE of those is your ‘perfect dress’ and that everything else is the ‘wrong’ one, making it critical for you to try HUNDREDS of dresses in MULTIPLE salons before you choose?

I see many brides who are feeling so much pressure to find the ‘perfect’ dress that they schlep from salon to salon, trying dress after beautiful dress, only to end up dazed and confused and, more importantly, in unshakeable decision paralysis. The fear of ‘getting it wrong’ is so intense that it hamstrings their ability not only to find a dress but to find joy, celebration and connection through the process.

Please believe me when I say that when it comes to choosing your wedding dress, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision: it’s just a decision.

It often happens that a bride will find two dresses that she loves and looks amazing in – and when this happens we have questions we can ask that help her to get there. But for most brides once the decision is made and the pressure valve releases they can see that finding a beautiful dress that makes them feel incredible is the whole point of the exercise: that is, regardless of which dress it is, the decision becomes right.

A caveat at this juncture: I am talking here about the process of trying dresses in a proper bridal salon. If you are going to buy your wedding dress online, without having tried it, it is entirely possible that it doesn’t live up to the pictures provided and/or your expectations of how it will make you look and feel, no matter how perfectly it seemed to fit your idea of what you wanted. Dresses vary in quality and they do look different on a body to what they look like on a hanger or in an instagram ad. Fact is, there is risk in purchasing a wedding dress online, sight unseen or tried.

Now we’ve covered that, back to our salon experience. The thing is, you will look wonderful in many dresses – simply wonderful. Yes, YOU (and no, I don’t care if you think you’re too fat, thin, not busty enough or too old). The trick to saying yes to less stress is to pay attention to how a dress makes you feel.

If you pay attention to how you feel in your favourite dresses, rather than just how you look you will position yourself to make a decision that is true to you rather than choosing a gown that is:

• Your mum’s idea of ‘flattering’
• Your grandma’s idea of ‘appropriate’
• The dress your sister/cousin/bridesmaids/best friend would choose if they were getting married
• Your dad’s vision of you when you were five years old (rather than a grown-assed woman who has done some pretty amazing shit in her life) 

These people are all important, but this is your wedding, your experience and your vision. Take control of it. Make it yours. Trying to please others – and sometimes multiple others – will confuse and overwhelm you to the point that you get yourself so tied up in knots over it you miss out on the excitement and joy of Yes.

And you don’t want to miss that because believe me, when it happens, it’s pure magic.  

~~~~~

Did you make a conscious decision NOT to pay attention to other people’s opinions or ‘shoulds’ for your dress? Did you survive it? Drop a comment below and let me know how that went for you.